why or where, life with chronic pain

I have let mood dictate my recent lack of communication, but tonight it's on.
Not much has really been going on. Lee is doing well, kids are great, and I'm doing relatively ok on the blood issue. I'm not doing ok on the pain issue though.
I always hesitate to talk about pain. It's not observable unless there's a visible cause, broken bone, impaled by a pole type of visible. It's a hidden curse. You can say I hurt, but the next question is always "why", followed by "where". The why is the diagnosis the doctor gives. The where...it all depends.  My pain is known as chronic pain syndrome. I am a prisoner and my number is 338.4.
Recently we had to make a major change to my pain management program. We went in a direction I never wanted to go in. It had to be done though because of my liver. With it being enlarged anything with Tylenol is now off the table. I'm now on a long acting with the same drug in a short acting form for break through pain. My doctor suggested this about a year ago(well before we knew of the liver issue), but I was hesitant and declined. I felt then that if I went for the stronger drugs it would mean I failed, that I was getting worse, and then there was also the mindset that only fakers that are addicted to narcotics and need their high use these drugs. I refused to risk that type of addiction, though after 4 years on any opiod narcotic 3-5 times a day every day there is going to be some amount of physical addiction.
I got the new prescription and turned it in to the pharmacy. Then I cried all the way home. I feel like I'm starting over again, I really do feel like I failed, though I really have no option any more.

Life goes on and you learn to live with pain. And you learn to hide the pain, and that you are on these medications.

safe storage of canned foods

Lee has an MRI on Wednesday. It's a routine follow up for the aneurysm, we aren't expecting any surprises.

I see a new doctor the 31st, a pain management guy. I'm hoping he can help, though realistically I've given up hope.
The focus will be my SIJD, but I will be approaching him with other problems.
A few months ago I got extremely ill, temp of 103 type sick, but no symptoms other than extreme pain all over. Labs were perfect. I was just sick. I got over that but about two weeks later I started having joint pain and deep muscle aches. It's been slowly getting worse.
I am often spending 12-16 hours a day in bed. I wake up with my hands and feet aching badly. As I start to move it just progresses, until my knees, hips, shoulders and elbows ache. I live on Motrin, flexaril, and hydrocodone most days, just to be able to function. So, I will be bringing this up with the doctor. I have a notebook I'm making notes in for him.


I have so much to do  on my days off this week and frankly I'm not sure how I will manage, I guess same as I do any other day.
Cookies, canning, quilting make up the bulk of it. I haven't even started this years gingerbread house, I may call it quits on that.

Most disappointing and weighing heavily on me is toys for tots. I haven't been to volunteer at all this year yet. Every other year I have been almost every day. I just haven't felt up to it physically.

As mentioned above I have canning to do. About 20 lbs of citrus stuff and Saturday I will have 21 lbs of pineapple. I'm also hoping to make apple pie filling and can it and some honey glazed carrots.

Speaking of canning I need to share an experience I had today. I was putting something in the pantry and out of habit I lightly skimmed my finger across the lids. I got to the beans I canned last summer and right away the lid slides right off one. I knew it was bad so went to dump it down the garbage disposal. When I upended the jar I noticed the bottom bulging.
So, it really showed me why you shouldn't store your jars with the rings on. If the ring had been on it would have given the appearance that the lid was sealed, and it likely would have resulted eventually in the jar exploding.
Many bacteria that can reside in canned foods produce gas as they multiply and grow. That gas will cause the lid to loosen. If the ring is off then that will allow the lid to do what my beans did, to slide off. The bacteria and gas are colorless and oderless and if they had been eaten it could have been very bad. The most likely cuplrit, and one of the most dangerous, is botulism.
So, that is why we store home canned foods without the rings on.