Life as a caregiver

I got a message the other day that really made me smile, and cry. It warmed my heart. I really needed to hear it after a really bad day.
I want to talk about being a caregiver to a spouse that's terminally ill.
It's hard. It sucks. Its even worse when you have to work full time also.
There's no other way to put it.
We don't do it for the praise, we know our spouse appreciates it, we know how they feel.
We sure as hell don't do it for money, there is no pay.
We don't do it to make ourselves feel better, its physically and mentally exhausting.
We do it out of love.
We do it out of compassion.
We do it because our heart says to.
We don't do it to impress people, there are days we go unshowered, teeth not brushed, hair pulled back in a ponytail because we were so busy getting our partner ready for an appointment we forgot to brush our hair.
I often get asked "how do you do it?"
There is no answer to that really. It's hard as all get out sometimes. It's not easy some days.
It's day in and day out, sleepless nights, tears in the shower worried about the one we love.
Its worrying about forgetting appointments, or being late because our spouse is having a bad day.
Its trying to focus just on our partners needs, physical and mental and not worrying about what others think, family or friends.
It's worrying that the next fall will result in bad injury, someone calling adult protective services, or even death.
Its worrying about sleeping through that fall and our partner laying there in pain, calling out to you but you are so exhausted you don't wake up.
It's guilt when you forget one their pills, or forget to take them with you when you get brave enough to take them on an all day outing.
It's love.