life happens

And boy did life happen to us.
On November 3rd things fell apart.
0900 home from work talking to Lee, normal conversation, bed.
1700 awake, things seem fine, Lee's Parkinson's is bad
1730 have Lee amantadine to help the dyskinesia. Pretty normal conversation, occasional weird random comment.
1930 Lee asked for help getting in bed and getting his cpap mask on(because the dyskinesia was so bad). He kept getting angry at me, telling I want doing it right. 2000 dad stepped in and helped, I packed my lunch and left for work at 2030.
2200 mom texts "call me immediately" I call, they are at the VA hospital with Lee, the doctor thinks he had a severe reaction to a medication and I need to get there as soon as possible.
I was there close to 2230.
Dad had gone in to check on Lee about 2130. He was really confused, not making much sense and hallucinating.
When I got back to the room with him he was sitting on the end of the bed, unable to be still and occasionally yelling involuntarily. There were several staff members standing around him, partly to make sure he didn't fall and partly because he was rather wild and they were concerned about everyone's safety. They attempted to sedate him with ativan. It didn't help. At all. He finally called enough they were able to get labs drawn and take him for an xray and CT scan.
Labs came back and his white count was 23000(normal is 8-10000), his creatinine was 2.9(I think normal is under 2, it was high), and his lactic acid was 5.5(2.9 and under is normal). Immediately they started transfer arrangements to sacred heart medical center ICU. He was in acute renal failure and metabolic acidosis.
I went home, packed a bag and headed to the hospital to meet him, and I beat him there. I let the staff know who I was and they showed me the waiting room. Before he got there the doctor talked to me a little too get an idea of what to expect. He got there finally and the work started. They put a catheter in him and a central line, drew more labs and started consults with other doctors. After a few hours I went home, he was calm and in good hands. During the day he stabilized and they moved him to the Neuro floor around 6pm.
Over the week he declined. Became fairly unresponsive, didn't know who we were when he was awake, had to be restrained all the time , went oriented at all. He also want eating or drinking or taking his meds.
Friday, just 5 days after this all started, they called in a specialist from another hospital. What they failed to tell me is that it was a palliative care doctor, hospice, to talk to me about what I wanted and what Lee would want. I knew what he wanted and didn't want done, and it was hard for me to say no feeding tube, no life support. She left and I talked to his kids and his sister in law. With their support I made the decision to put him on hospice care. I told his nurse so she could let his doctor know, and I went home to get ready for work. I left the hospital knowing that probably within a couple weeks I would be a widow. I was angry. I finally found the one person who made me feel complete, whom I had married just 2 years ago...and now I was going to lose him.
I called my mom and told her, I didn't want to have to say those words to anyone's face.
I cried and l let it all out for the night, determined that I wouldn't cry again that night.
An hour later my phone rings. It's his daughter, she was with him at the hospital. Jen, dads awake and wants to talk to you. I wanted to ask what kind of sick joke was she playing, but I didn't, and I talked to him. Besides being a little confused and having no memory of that week he was normal... he knew who I was, where he was, and he was eating and drinking. I was so afraid to get my hopes up, knowing that sometimes before a person dies they will rally and seem to be getting better.
For the next week he worked with physical therapy and got his strength up, and after 12 days he came home, NOT on hospice care.
Final diagnoses- renal failure, acidosis, encephalopathy. The cause is unknown. It may have been dehydration from a recent bout of vomiting(damn chemo), but we don't know for sure.
They did put him on a few new drugs. One for psychosis, and two for dementia. He doesn't have a diagnosis for either of those, they were symptoms he had while there, but we are being cautious and he is staying on them for now.